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My Life After COVID

My Life in 2022

In a breathtaking spectacle, I took the world on an extraordinary journey of self-discovery intertwined with the mesmerizing art of photography. With each click of the shutter, my spirit soared, reconnecting with God in ways I never thought possible. And, the magic of cultural events, once stifled by the grip of the pandemic, is now unleashed with renewed vigor! The City of Miramar became a vibrant canvas, splashed with hues of talent and a tapestry of human diversity that set my heart ablaze. Join me as I ignite your soul with the sheer passion and unbridled joy that this journey brings!

Fashion Photography

Event Photography

My Life in 2023

I embarked on a nostalgic journey, revisiting the very essence of my being. Returning to the very roots from which my creativity sprouted, filling me with an exhilarating sense of purpose and excitement.

My roots have guided me to this very place, where my heart beats with fiery passion and purpose…

I am passionately driven to capture the unrivaled Glory and sheer magnificence of God shining through his people. With each passing week, I strive to learn and grow, embracing the exhilarating journey of trial and error. I am determined to push the boundaries and continuously improve my craft in spite of obstacles. While some may deem this path unpopular, my unwavering focus is never swayed by external perceptions. For me, it has always been about channeling my passion and devotion to showcase the awe-inspiring divine presence of God in every aspect of life.

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Updates from Around the world

Gyptian Celebrates Jamaican Independence in the City of Miramar
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You

Sounds familiar. This reminds me of your obsessed control freak paramour who hopped onto our doorstep with his broken leg. Because that made more sense than the ER. I knew there was a reason I threatened to kill him.
LifeStyle · Mental Illness

Battling Anxiety: Living like Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky

I’ve been battling anxiety, and I haven’t been keeping you posted​. 2021 has been nerve-wracking. Overall, I’m frustrated and failing miserably at hiding it. I’m looking to build new friendships with people outside my bubble, but it’s been very taxing. As a result, I want to retreat within myself and blink out of existence for several milliseconds. Is that too much to ask? Just a tiny, minuscule vacation of the mind. So to combat it, I spend countless days binge drinking and nursing regrets. When I’m not doing that, I’m outside people-watching. Jealously living vicariously through them.

Battling Anxiety

My doctors have been pissing me off too. I had to switch OBs earlier in the year because I couldn’t get a call back to save my life. It almost feels like a part-time job. Only, instead of making money, I’m spending money. Medical bills are increasing just for me to play phone tag. I was given a prescription for lupron that isn’t covered by insurance – well, it is covered but requires preauthorization or precertification. Long story short, I’m calling weekly to get a nurse to pick up a fax. No one calls back (I’ve been getting voicemail), and I have to stay on top of them. What exactly am I paying for?

At least my health is stable for now, I’ve regained my appetite, and I’m keeping food down. In keeping with this regimen for battling anxiety, I started daily walks (as much as the weather will allow). Consequently, it helps to lift my spirits. I’ve also picked up the Nikon again, and now I’m going on photography jaunts with my bro to see the world. While I am jealous of people living life, I’m also grateful for the privilege of being a fly on the wall — however short-lived it is. Slainte!

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Acting White?

If being smart, hard-working and meticulous is “acting white”, then what is “acting black”?

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Never offer your heart to someone who eats hearts

Never offer your heart

 to someone who eats hearts

who finds heartmeat

delicious

but not rare

who sucks the juices

drop by drop

and bloody-chinned

grins

like a God.

Never offer your heart

to a heart gravy lover.

Your stewed, overseasoned

heart consumed

he will sop up your grief

with bread

and send it shuttling

from side to side

in his mouth

like bubblegum.

If you find yourself

in love

with a person

who eats hearts

these things

you must do:

Freeze your heart

immediately.

Let him – next time

he examines your chest –

find your heart cold

flinty and unappetizing.

Refrain from kissing

lest he in revenge

dampen the spark

in your soul.

Now,

sail away to Africa

where holy women

await you on the shore –

long having practiced the art

of replacing hearts

with God

and Song.

– Alice Walker

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The Forgotten Francis

When I was invisible you saw me

When I was anxious you calmed me

When I couldn’t figure it out, you taught me

I remember you as you are

Before the cancer took your breath away

Before the chemo when your split ends started to fray

I know this might be the most cowardly thing to say

But I’m glad I wasn’t there to see you that way

The you that isn’t you

The you that isn’t your full glory

I’m glad at the end of your journey, I was able to tell this anecdotal story.

And though you’re gone, you’re not forgotten

Your missed connection leaves me your legacy

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Loyalty

At this rate I should hate y’all

But I break my own heart every day

Knowing that I’ll never stop caping for y’all

And after much introspection

I hang around in the rafters and the sidelines

Wearing my pride on my sleeves.

overjoyed at how much you’ve achieved

But like I said. I break my own heart every day

Knowing how much you fight to keep your demons at bay

Still riding for you. Still cheering you on knowing you don’t see me

Knowing I’m out here alone. Feeling invalidated and insignificant

Like I said, I break my own heart every day

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I should be better

I should be better at life. I keep making mental check marks as to where I’m at in adulthood. But lately everything has come crashing down like a game of unstable Jenga. Until yesterday I prided myself on being able to compartmentalize. Now the lines blur between work and health. I know I’m supposed to let go and let God but it’s just not that simple. Not for a control freak. It’s hard to let go when I feel guilty half the time. So many compounded feelings about spending 6 to 8 weeks in recovery. I hate doctors. I know they are a godsend but I hate being pushed, poked, prodded. I hate not having time. I hate these emotional tailspins that show cracks in my facade. I am not supposed to feel. I’m supposed to remain composed. But mostly I just feel tired. I feel tired and I feel like I have failed and I feel guilty for that because it makes me feel entitled. I’m not entitled to anything and I should be happy for small blessings. So queue the guilt. Coz I’m hurting (stressing?) and don’t know how to control it.

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Can you die from Anemia?

Possibly. I was ready to ride this out but curiosity got the better of me on Sunday. I was gonna pretend I didn’t get the message from my PCP saying: “go to the emergency room immediately “. But curiosity and a brother who’s a nurse won out. Yeah he’s not a doctor but he’s my brother. He’s one of the siblings I actually look up to and take advice from (don’t tell him I said that). I still don’t trust doctors (they took the other brother). For a moment that mistrust resurfaced as I woke up from an incomplete endoscopy coughing, retching, wheezing with a cannula in my nose and several doctors in panic mode.

Panic is not a good thing to see on the face of your physician. I really wanted to run. I wanted to usain bolt outta there as fast as my legs could take me. I’m not saying they’re not good doctors. But, it was a teaching hospital and again I don’t trust doctors.

After that the GI told me some things that made sense. I probably shouldn’t have agreed to the endoscopy. I’m okay now but I don’t know if I can top the feeling of waking up with a raw throat, spitting up mucous and crying not from pain but frustration. I have five holes in my right arm and one in my left from 2 IVs and the vampires drawing blood every chance they get. It made me rethink going to the ER.

Had I not gone, where would I be? Well I wouldn’t know what I know now.

  1. Keep Calm and trust God
  2. Don’t take your health for granted. It can be a PITA.
  3. That wasn’t just stubborn belly fat

I would have added “appreciate loved ones” to the list but I already do. I love y’all as much as you will allow me to. And I’m thankful for the not-so-empty sentiments sent my way. and the prayerful aunties that kept me in their prayers. I might not trust Doctors but I do trust God and I do trust the prayers of a righteous man (or woman) availeth much.