Because she wants to fuck me, we can’t be friends. She’s managed to block me on all accounts. I’m perturbed by that. I’m perturbed by the fact that I actually give a shit. I value her friendship. But sometimes it feels like that friendship comes with strings attached — like I have to fuck her in order to truly gain acceptance or understanding from her. Why’s it such a big deal if I don’t call you within a 24 hour time frame? And how fucking selfish can you be that you decide I should drop my fucking phone call for you because “in your mind” you’re giving me that good rubber dick? I don’t think so. I don’t ask you to get off the phone with your friends so why ask me to do the same with mine. Why can’t I ever have a girlfriend that’s not selfish? Wait a minute; she was never my girlfriend which makes this entire CHARADE even more asinine.

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