• Uncategorized


    I have a million and one reasons why I should go out this weekend and get shitfaced.  But I’ll refrain from the latter.  My boss offered the option of relocating and I feel like it’s just what the doctor ordered.   However he’d like to me to relocate to the VA/DC area within 3 months.   I don’t even know how that’s going to happen seeing as I haven’t even started looking for an apartment out there and I’m not even sure how I would start.   So if anyone has some advice on where to find a nice little 1 bedroom in a decent area (preferably somewhere  I won’t get shot), then…

  • Uncategorized


    Where do I begin?  I’ve been spending the last few days doing a lot of soul-searching.   I know that I’ve spent the better part of the last 8 years looking to fill a void.   I thought perhaps if I fell in love I’d find completion.  But love isn’t exactly what it’s all about.  I’m a spiritual person and I’d like to think there’s a divine purpose to be fulfilled by me.   I have an old soul and I can’t help but feel the fatigue setting in.   I feel like I’m running this perpetual hamsters wheel with no clue as to why I’m running and I know that I need to…

  • Uncategorized


    inside I feel the onset of a new spiritual awakening.   I don’t want to be just another face in the crowd.  I want to stand out.  I want to be defiant and I want to show strength in my convictions.   Like i did when I was 17 years old when I wanted God to change my life for the better.   Somewhere down the line, it all got confused.   I let my trust in humans outweigh my faith in God.   Now like the rest of these lost souls, I wander the streets disenfranchised and desensitized.  So much so, that I can’t even stop to smell the roses in my concrete Jungle.  …

  • Abuse,  African American,  Domestic Violence,  Rihanna

    Say Uncle!!

    One day a man was walking down the street on his way to work. As he walked down the street, there were dogs on just about every front porch and they all would bark as the man walk passed them. However, there was one dog that he remembered, because this dog was just sitting there and he was whimpering and whining and moaning, you know the little whimpering sounds dogs make when they are wounded or in some sort of pain. Well, this particular dog was just sitting there on the front porch making those sounds. The man was curious as to why this dog wasn’t barking like the other…

  • Uncategorized

    How is it so Easy

    I meant to post this as a comment in Alix’s blog.  But,  I have way too much to say.  Way too many questions to ask.   It’s been about a month since her and I broke up.  (Her being Aquafina).   I’m not as devastated about the break-up as I am about the events that followed subsequently.   Within 4 hours of our break-up she with someone else.  It’s not the fact that she moved on so fast that pains me.   It’s the fact that the person who she is with was a mutual friend of ours.   I remember succinctly asking her if she was cheating on me with that person.   Her…

  • Relationships,  Trust


    I don’t know if the emotions that I’m feeling  mean that I  like her or if I love her.  We’ve been talking since maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago.  Everyday, she’s unsure about what our future holds and Everyday it seems as if I don’t have secure footing in this  relationship.   I’m not exactly calling it a relationship because she’s not my girlfriend.  But for the sake of identifying this thing we have, I’ll call it a relationship.   She’s been thru the same b.s. that I have.  She’s had her heart broken more often than not – as have I.   It’s really hard to convince her that I’m not here…

  • Uncategorized

    Return to Sender

    Dear Self,   You never really seem to learn from your past experiences.   It seems as if you truly are looking for fulfillment under the guise of love.   Actually,  I’ve come to the conclusion that you are looking for what you once had 6 years ago.   You’ve had a taste of it  and now you want more.   Maybe you should stop looking.   Maybe you should stop hoping that each and every moment will be a direct replica of the first.          Signed     Yours Truly       Technorati Tags: love,diary,infatuation,lust,trust,sex

  • African American,  devastation,  Uncategorized

    This Little Rainbow Clique

    The older I get the more I have this disdain for surrounding myself with only LGBT individuals.   I know that sounds crazy but let me explain why.  I’ve been on this scene for perhaps 8 years or so and I’m pretty much able to predict the actions of my gay/ lesbian counterparts.   So much so that it really doesn’t add any mystery to the situation.    Being of sound Sagittarian mind and body, it is in my nature to want to experience new things and to learn and grow spiritually.   I’m not finding that by only associating with one specific group in society.   I think that as a lesbian the objective…

  • Uncategorized

    True definition of Love…..

    Valentines day finds me in solace.   I’ve never had time to actually be lonely.  But today I am.   I have friends, great ones at that.  But they’re all out having a drink with their significant other or celebrating v-day somehow.   I’ve really been thinking about how I approach relationships lately.   Someone once said that I was in love with the concept of love.   Something that I’ve –until now–  completely denied.   Having acknowledged the latter, I’ve now changed my course.    I have an idea on how to keep my feelings in check, as they only seem to develop when there’s some semblance of "love” (i.e. infatuation) rearing it’s ugly head.   I’m…

  • Uncategorized

    Christine Before  Christine After    Finally at least one hurdle has been overcome,  I’m no longer riding public transportation with the crazies.   Friday I saw this dude on the buss with his pants and boxers below his ass.   It was a real live nightmare.   I saw  more than buttcrack and I was not enthused.