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Misanthropic Musings

Lately I’ve been worried about my own spiritual wellbeing.  Everyday feels more and more robotic.  I go to work.  I work for 12 hours (even though I shouldn’t).   I come home.  I hop online, read a few blogs, comment if i have the energy and then go to sleep.   I work so much now that I use the entire weekend to sleep.   My days are no longer the typical 9 to 5 that most have come to enjoy.  They’re more like 9 to 9 or 9 to 10.  Sometimes I work on weekends too.   With work playing such a major role in my life, I haven’t really had time to focus on God or going to church or anything else for that matter.   I used to enjoy the company of a good book from time to time.  I used to dabble in my Photoshop.  I used to take the Nikon out and catch the sights.   Now all I do is work.  I dream of it, have nightmares about it, then I wake up and go to it.  Friendships don’t even really fit into the equation as I’ve been disappointed way too many times to count.  And also probably because I’ve been on the giving end of the disappointment.  

 

I must confess; I don’t prioritize well.  Which is why it becomes such a pain in the ass to maintain girlfriends.  Especially femme girlfriends..   It’s like having goldfish.  They want too much fucking attention.  And if they’re Virgos, they’re absolutely over the top with it.    But even with all my complaints I guess I can appreciate what I have with Aquafina for the moment.   She hasn’t been overtly demanding of my time and attention.   I know I haven’t been spending that much time with her as I’d like to because of my obsession with this dead end job.  But she seems to get me.   It’s not like it was before.   She’s a little different now.  A little less cold-hearted a little more understanding.  She’s been asking me to come back down there and  it’s been on my mind.   The last time I went out there I just felt like I was in another world outside my own and it was actually a good feeling.  So maybe another trip to TX is what the doctor ordered.

5 Comments

  • AJ the DJ

    It’s tough, that’s why I had to take time off from work, else I would have gone mad. Just try not to smoke yourself out.

    Pardon my intrusion, but are you in a long distance relationship? If so, how long?

  • Alix

    I don’t deal with emotions very well. I do better with women that are more like men, that don’t want to talk about emotions and get over things quickly.

    I wish you luck.

  • Tami

    women can be volatile esp. when they expect you know what they are thinking even if they don’t tell you. relationships are a lot of work. with your schedule it doesn’t seem like you have time for yourself, let alone someone else.

    time for you is important, because at the end of the day, that’s all you have is you…

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