Old Habits Die Hard

My ex of 8 years seems to gain confidence every time she has a new girlfriend. Confidence being an understatement. Whenever she’s with someone she thinks the whole entire world is on her dick and is worried about her dick and its actions. It’s just one of those random observations I made just recently. Every time a bitch cheats on her or dumps her, I’m the coolest, realest female she’s ever known. Then when she finds a new chick who will fuck her she gets hype and it’s “FUCK THE WORLD. ALL THESE HOES ON MY DICK”. Come on now Morgen? Is it really that serious? The whole world is losing sleep over your minuscule rubber ding-a-ling? Is this a fact? And in what book of bullshit did you read this?

I posted a twitter comment saying that it was odd that her and my bf are dating because they used to be sworn enemies. I made the post out of sheer amusement not jealousy or for the need to check up on morgen (I’ll keep that lower-cased) and her so-called dick actions which I wasn’t aware she had. She in her deep rooted resentment responds with the following:

“@kissmeshia lmao! nah what you find odd is you dont want nobody that knows you with me its been mad long get over it meesh really b…”

All Points Bulletin

APB: If anyone sees a fat rusty black-lipped chick driving a Dodge Caravan Virginia License Plate# E644 008 please set her and that car on fire. This chick decides to cut us off on I-85 yesterday somewhere between NC & VA. We ignored it and kept moving. Later on I notice the aforementioned pulls up next to my side of the car ( the passenger side) and starts mouthing obscenities. So I rolled my window down and cussed her fat ass out. There were four people in my car. My Mom was driving. My bro and my nephew were in the backseat. This bitch decides to take it a step further and proceeds to cut my Mom off again. Only, this time we anticipated that move and slowed down so as not to run into her. My Mom switches Lanes. She switches Lanes. Mom switches back behind another car. Black-lips decides she wants to share lanes with us and pulls into the left lane pushing us over the side beyond the sleeper lane and almost into the grassy part of the highway. Luckily there wasn’t a ditch there or a barrier. If you see the following Dodge Caravan with the aforementioned LICENSE plate. Please feel free to stab the driver if indeed it’s a female;


road trip part 2 (DNR)

I guess what hurt more than seeing her like that was the fact she’d
opened her home to so many of her immediate family members and now that
she’s sick with Parkinsons no one was there but J. Her son lives in
the subdivision across the street yet it’s Easter and he hasn’t even
attempted to call and say “Happy Easter Mom” . But what can you expect
from someone who wanted to cut the life support when his moms condition
worsened. She could hear him saying “do not resuscitate” which
prompted her to let the words “I’m alive” faintly escape her lips.
Sometimes I think about it and the other grimey things folks have done
to her and it incites so much rage. I’m really angry inside because I
cannot fathom how one could wish for your own mom to die.

Road Trip Part 1.

I’m on my way back from GA. we visited with my cousin J and Aunt I
for the easter weekend. I hadn’t seen Aunt I since 2006 when I was
out there on business so it came as a surprise to me when I saw her
posted up in that hospital bed in the living room, her neck permanently
bent to one side and speaking in low tones. Its a far cry from the
Aunt I I knew growing up. She was a stately woman and a kindhearted
one. She’s not my biological aunt but she’s treated me better than
some of my own aunts .



Account Meesh

My old life was a far cry from what it is now. I’ve undergone a sort of metamorphosis. I was looking at an old photo montage I made back when grandpa died. Then I started looking up my aunt’s name on the Internet. I found out that she was quite brilliant as is her husband and son. She’s into computers also. So I guess the whole computer geek thing is a genetic thing. I never knew until the age of 28 that my aunt was an inventor or a scholar. Part of me wishes I’d stayed with my dad when I was younger because I probably would’ve attained my goals much faster. The dynamic between the two sides of my family is unusual. My mom comes from dirt poor surroundings. She’s the eldest of 6 children. Granny (God rest her soul), felt it was prudent to have all these kids to keep the men around. It just never panned out that way. So instead, my mom’s been raising kids since she first hit puberty. Not her kids but my Grannies kids. She was pulled out of school to raise these kids and being the oldest sibling she’s always felt responsible for her younger siblings. See my mom’s family may not come from much but the one thing they have that I don’t see in a lot of other families is that loyalty and that kinship. She represents the side of me that stays grounded. My dad on the other hand comes from a well-to-do family with very old fashioned values. I would almost say they were snobs. But snobs or not I still love them. They raised me with standards and created this melting pot of unique traits and attributes that you’ll never find. I get my elitist mentality from that side of the family and at times I find I’m in a mental conflict. I tend to date women who would be considered beneath my stature by my family as a sign of rebellion. I think a lot of who I am now as a person can be attributed to the way dad is and the rest of the Francis’s are. Nobody says “I love you” on that side of the family. Nobody is overtly emotional. They all maintain a certain kind of stone-faced decorum which makes it really hard to relate to them. I know that I am everything they despise. The black sheep. The child with no (for a lack of better words) “Broughtupsy” (consult the West Indian Dictionary). I’m the one child that goes against the grain. The one who hung with the bad chicks in high school and would skip class. The one who wore miniskirts to the mall and thought she was grown even though she knew pops hated it. I strive to be everything he is not.

The Straight Pill

Now I’m not one to typically piggyback off someone else’s entry. But this one evoked a lot of emotion in me. I guess coz of my religious upbringing. But read it. Let me know how you feel and if you like it pass it on. Oh yes STOLEN FROM APOCKETFULLOFHOPE

The Straight Pill
Date March 13, 2009

If there was a pill that could make me straight

…..Straight in body

…..Straight in mind

…..Straight in heart

……….I would not take it.

If taking such a pill would restore all my lost friendships

…..And regain my parents pride

…..And give back my families respect

…..…..I would not take it.

If taking such a pill would return me to my former ministry

…..And the admiration of the congregation

…..And the loving welcome of the church

…..…..I would not take it.

If taking such a pill would replace the love I have for my wife with an equal love for a man

…..And we could legally marry

…..And we would be granted full rights under the law without fighting for them

…..…..I would not take it.

If taking such a pill would mean no one would reject me for being who I am

…..And for saying what I believe

…..And for standing boldly as one who follows Christ

…..…..I would not take it.

If taking such a pill could take the world back in time,

…..Before I came out of the closet,

…..Before I said I was gay

…..Before I knew I was gay

…..Before inequality touched me

…..Before hate revealed its ugliness to me

…..Before anyone rejected me

…..Before anything was lost to me

…..Before I ever questioned God’s love for me

…..…..I would not take it.

If taking that pill would make me straight

…..And famous

…..And wealthy

…..And talented

…..And adored

…..And beautiful

…..And thin

……….I would not take it.

……….I would not take it.

……….I. Would. Not. Take. It.

I would never take a pill that would make me straight because

……….I love being who I am

……….I love being whole and free

……….I love seeing the world from where I stand

……….I love knowing God from this place

……….I love feeling passion burning in me for equality

……….I love being part of a people who are courageous and relentless

……….I love being one in Spirit with every queer youth

…………..With every gay man and woman

……………With every bisexual man and woman

…………..With every transman and transwoman

……………With every ally and friend

……………With everyone who questions, doubts and searches

……….And I love being one in Spirit with you

……………Bound in hope, and faith, and love

……………Bound in God

If there was a pill I could take that would make you straight

………..And taking that pill would end all your confusion and anxiety

……….And remove your fear that God has rejected you

……………I would not take that pill even for you.

You are gay.

…..You are not wrong.

…..…..You are not sinful.

…..…..…..You are not evil or perverted.

…..…….…..…You are not unworthy.

…..…..…..…..…..You are not a mistake.

…..…..…..…..…..…..You are not to be ashamed.

You are gay.

…..God loves you.

…..…..God holds you.

…..…..…..God stands with you.

…..…..…..…..God delights in you.

…..…..…..…..…..God calls you “My own.”

If there was a pill that could make me straight

…..And make you straight

…..And you

…..And you

…..And you

……….I would not take it.

……….I would not take it.

……….I. Would. Not. Take. It.

It’s Official….

Twitter is a piece of shit.?? Twice I?ve attempted to log on today and
twice, I?ve been told that the site is down for maintenance.??? Are you
telling me that people are so seriously addicted to Twitter that they never
log off and spend 24 hours of each day of every week hitting the refresh
*checks my person*.?? Am I one of those people??? Today was a better day for
me.? I?m thinking clearly and I?m oh so focused at work.? I think it?s
because I?m not head over heels or twitterpated.?? I think my problem with
love is that I?m in love with the concept of being in love.? I?m in love
with the idea of coming home to someone every night or day ?and snuggling up
and watching a blockbuster movie.? Shyt I?m even in love with the concept of
going grocery shopping together.? Picking out living room curtains and
making what would have been otherwise mundane decisions with that special
someone.?? But then I also hate to be around that someone 24/7 with no space
for me time.?? I despise dressing alike because it?s the cute couple thing
to do and I despise being told what to do in a relationship .?? My
rebellious nature is not a fan of commitment.? Maybe I can take a stab at
monogamy which I?ve done more often than not.? But I don?t know that I can
stay caged in a one woman p.o.v. for long.

Luck be a Lady Tonight

I got a newfound crush who will never know I exist. She made me fall in love with hip hop again and Lord knows it’s been years since Meesh was in love with hip hop. But I shit you not the one chick I’d compromise all my values for should the opportunity ever present itself is the one, the only; Lady Luck. In short, Meesh would like to bone Lady Luck. I don’t know if it’s just the crazy punch lines or the laidback swagga. Either way she’ll get it.


Road Trip

Ladies and Gentlemen.   Well Ladies anyway.   Hmm I wonder why
I don’t have any male friends?   It’d be nice to have a male friend
who I can relate to without them trying to fuck me or without them telling me
that the past 8 years of my homosexuality have been nothing but a phase.  But
that’s a topic for another day.  I’m taking a road trip down to
Georgia for the Easter weekend.   It’s a family outing for which I’ll
be dusting off the Nikon and catching the sights.   I’m driving 4 hours. 
My brother’s driving 4 hours and My Mom’s driving 4 hours.  Then
from GA, I’m driving 5 hours and Moms driving 5 hours to Fort Lickerdale
to see My other Brother and his family.    I anticipate a fun-filled weekend of
bobbing and weaving and ducking the high-way cops on the way down .    I’ll
update you good  folks on my trip coz I’ll have this wonderful piece of
machinery with me.