Some days I wake up on the opposite side wishing being gay was an everyday occurrence. I wake up wishing it wasn’t an issue people had to march and rally at city hall for. Like gay was just as normal as being Black or as Being White or as Being Human. In our own eyes it is an innate part of our being. But everyday we struggle. Reactions seem to vary. “Oh you’re gay!? That’s so cool !” or “You’re Gay, what dude fucked you over?” Because it’s just not normal for a girl to grow up liking other girls unless she went thru some sort of traumatic experience with a man. In truth, I have always been different. It had nothing to do with rejection by men. It just took me a really long time to as they say – put a finger on it. But like I said it’s not a normal everyday occurrence now it it? The church spits venom in our direction. They don’t want us married. They don’t want us raising children. So when I’m at my cousins wedding and I see how happy he is with his new bride and I look at his siblings and their spouses and their families, I’m envious. Not of their heterosexual relationships but of the sense of normalcy they all seem to have. Wherein I can’t just take my girlfriend to Thanksgiving and announce “we’re getting married” without having bottles tossed in my direction. Everyone wants to grow old and grey with someone but it seems as if it’s even harder to do when you’re old grey and gay.