• Uncategorized

    Dear Jane, It’s not you. It’s me.

    You know I’m never calling you again right?   It’s not because I don’t love you. Because I do.   I love you enough to keep you away from me because I know that you deserve better than what I can offer you.   I’d hate to hold you hostage while I made up my mind to be consistent and be all that you needed and deserved in a woman.  My life has not yet come full circle and being as incomplete as I am, I fear there is not much that I can offer you.   You once said that you feared you were out of my league but the truth is; I…

  • Uncategorized

    Just too ‘GOOD’ to be true

    I just got finished reading this book by the late E. Lynn Harris.  There were some truths that I came to accept while reading the book and in some way they awakened a spark of hope inside me.  The book is about skeletons.   You know the kind of skeletons we keep in our closets.   The skeletons we hide while portraying a picture perfect existence to the world.   Sometimes I think about what my life would’ve been like had I confessed some of my earlier wrong-doings.   Be that as it may, there still isn’t a strong enough argument to convince me to leave myself wide open.   I just know that I…

  • Uncategorized

    Paradox

    The paradox that is me.   or maybe it isn’t a paradox after all.  There is such a thing as a Gay Christian isn’t there?   I’ve been trying to make these tiny little changes in my life.   A bible verse to start or end the day gives me a sense of direction as I’ve been miserably flailing like a fish out of water for the past 7 years.   I remember being as sure of myself as I was of my own footing on solid ground .   But I was 7 years younger and 20 lbs Lighter then.   Today, the notions that swim around in my brain consist of  deep theological processes;…

  • Uncategorized

    So there you have it.  I’ve read all 7 Merry Gentry Books by Laurell K Hamilton.   It was simply an addiction I had to feed.  I found myself buying novel after novel and having lucid dreams about the characters.  I’m waiting for the 8th book – Divine Misdemeanors—to hit the shelves in December.   It’s been a long time since I’ve picked up one book — let alone 7 books – and not been able to put it back down.   Now I’m sitting here with an itch to scratch because December 8th can’t come fast enough.   And I blame her for introducing me to this newly formed addiction.   The downside;  she…