Food For The Soul

So there you have it.  I’ve read all 7 Merry Gentry Books by Laurell K Hamilton.   It was simply an addiction I had to feed.  I found myself buying novel after novel and having lucid dreams about the characters.  I’m waiting for the 8th book – Divine Misdemeanors—to hit the shelves in December.   It’s been a long time since I’ve picked up one book — let alone 7 books – and not been able to put it back down.   Now I’m sitting here with an itch to scratch because December 8th can’t come fast enough.   And I blame her for introducing me to this newly formed addiction.   The downside;  she is no longer mine.   She’s the one who introduced me to Laurell K Hamilton.    And now that I’ve so indulged myself in the Land of Faerie, I am greeted with my own shocking reality.   The reality that the love of my life will no longer be in my life.  She broke it off with me — not that anything was official.    But it feels like a break up.   And though I’m disheartened by it, I realized that it had to happen sooner or later.   I love her, but I for one am so used to going it alone, that I know within my heart of hearts that we cannot be.   I know I cannot be like everyone else around me or like the happy couples who sit on porches year after year month after month, day after day – growing old together.   It is not within my divine makeup and for that I am truly sad.   Sad because I know that it’ll make for a very lonely existence.    I just know that my heart will always be with her from where I stand.  I know that there are nights when I yearn the opportunity to stand up on my tiptoes and plant a soft kiss on her lips.   But what is one night to a lifetime but a drop in the bucket.   Who am I fooling,  I can’t deal with myself for a lifetime much less to subject anyone to that kind of hell.  

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