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    My Life is an Open Book

    Though this may disappoint some of my lesbian “friends” (if one may call them that).   I’ve made the decision to start batting for the other team. And as I say this we got folks shakin their heads in disgust.   Mainly the person who spent more than half a year following my journal.  I don’t know maybe you had some hope that we would be an “us” again.  Who knows?   But all that I do know is yes I fux with men now.  Yes I decided that if I was to have longevity and kids and a family that It wasn’t going to be with a female.  I can’t knock the…

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    grrll gone soft

    for what it’s worth I’m sorry I couldn’t relax I’m sorry I was the control freak I’m sorry I wanted what we had to be like what they write in the books or show on the tv screen I was reading off a script and when things didn’t go according to plan or according to the script I lost it. That is my shortcoming and my lack of happiness had nothing to do with you. I wish you the best because you deserve it.  

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    Will I Ever

    can’t really put into words how i’m feelin  so I posted a video.  I want what most people want.  Maybe I want it because I want to feel like a normal human being.   But normal feels like such a relative term with which to compare oneself.   Could it be my wishes and dreams are the wishes and dreams everyone else had years ago?   the hope to be with someone and to mesh so well with that person to build with this person have kids with this person and raise kids with them.   do I want something that nobody wants anymore?