My Life is an Open Book

Though this may disappoint some of my lesbian “friends” (if one may call them that).   I’ve made the decision to start batting for the other team. And as I say this we got folks shakin their heads in disgust.   Mainly the person who spent more than half a year following my journal.  I don’t know maybe you had some hope that we would be an “us” again.  Who knows?   But all that I do know is yes I fux with men now.  Yes I decided that if I was to have longevity and kids and a family that It wasn’t going to be with a female.  I can’t knock the lesbian couples who raise kids together.  That is their forte.  But it is not mine.  And as a Human Being with basic rights I feel it is my right to make my choice of what direction my life will lead.  

It’s really crazy, how she logged on to secondlife after 6 months to ask me if I’m back with men now and had the nerve to act disgusted when she had spent part of her existence whoring her ex out on the internet.   How do you turn your nose up when you were nothing less than a pimp some odd years ago selling your girlfriend’s body for money? 

So your ex says she’s back with men and suddenly you have the nerve to be mad, or irritated?  Why?

She’s your Ex.  WHY DO YOU CARE!!!!???


grrll gone soft

for what it’s worth

I’m sorry I couldn’t relax
I’m sorry I was the control freak
I’m sorry I wanted what we had
to be like what they write in the books
or show on the tv screen
I was reading off a script
and when things didn’t go according to plan
or according to the script
I lost it.
That is my shortcoming and my lack of happiness had nothing to do with you.
I wish you the best because you deserve it.


Will I Ever

can’t really put into words how i’m feelin  so I posted a video.  I want what most people want.  Maybe I want it because I want to feel like a normal human being.   But normal feels like such a relative term with which to compare oneself.   Could it be my wishes and dreams are the wishes and dreams everyone else had years ago?   the hope to be with someone and to mesh so well with that person to build with this person have kids with this person and raise kids with them.   do I want something that nobody wants anymore?