Abuse,  African American,  Family,  Honesty,  Love,  Relationships,  Trust

a weeks worth of sleepless nights

10 years later and he’s back in my life.  my feelings are somehow convoluted.  I know what  my long-term goals are.  I’m just not sure if they include him.   The odds are stacked high against us.  But yet I find myself acting like some crazed teenager again.  He’s had a hard life.  The likes of which, i’ve never had the misfortune to experience.

So it makes it hard for us to relate.   You know when you are missing certain things in life it tends to incite hunger inside you.  You tend to want to strive harder to obtain those things.  I think that’s what he does.   And because I don’t strive for the same things he does, it drives a rift between us.   I want that American Pie dream (well not exactly “Americah Pie”).  He wants money.   Maybe as the Alpha Male it defines his worth.   But I want something simpler.   Friendship, Loyalty and reliability.   He is downright Amoral and the things I find horrific he finds  mundane.   We often clash on those points alone.  Yet  I can’t leave him alone.

 

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