African American

My Boyfriend.  Yes  I refer to him as such because he’s been the most loyal individual in my life over the span of 10 years.  The most loyal at least until now.  He doesn’t cheat.   It isn’t cheating if your lover knows about it.  He just finds ways to be in everyone elses corner but mine.   Maybe that’s putting it harshly.   Maybe him hanging out with certain girls I don’t approve of and who are blatantly disrespectful of our relationSHIT, isn’t a direct slap in the face.  And Maybe I’m the fucking Dalai Lama.    In any case  for some reason unbeknownst to me, I love the man.  And you know what the cure-all is for loving someone who doesn’t take quite as much stock in you?   it’s  walking away. 

He says to me today that if a woman is going to cheat he has no control over that and therefore it’s pointless to harang over it.   This is true indeed but it seems as if they (the men) turn their emotions on and off like water faucets and subsequently expect the rest of the world to follow suit.     He assumes that because he shrugs shit off that everyone else should too.  but no two people are made alike.  We have our ways in which we like to handle situations and the key to making a relationship work between two people who obviously are not of the same mindset, is to compromise  (find middle ground).    But how does one even begin to do that when the other party involved can’t even see your p.o.v.?   How do you come to some sort of amicable crossroads when He doesn’t see why you would be upset at him ditching you for late night chat with cartoons  

That being the case, ladies what would you do if your man just acted like he didnt’ give a fuck?   If you’re talking to him about the status of your  relationship that he admittedly says he cherishes, and he falls asleep how would you handle that?  Do you flip the light switch?  Do you just take a mental hiatus?  Spend time with self?  Get the fuck-em Dress on n do your Single ladies dance?   What is it that you do to take the edge off?  short of having an affair.  Sleeping with someone else ain’t gone make you feel better.  yes I know ur shaking your head and saying “leave him” but like that dog sittin on that nail  I guess I jus ain’ hurtin enough.    I decided to leave him without leaving him.   I’m taking a little hiatus all by my lonesome.  Call it a spiritual journey if you will.   He will miss me and I will miss him but i figure it’s the best way to clear my mind.  And maybe when I come back I’ll decide   there’s something better out there for me (and perhaps pigs will fly).

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