I want so much for my life to mean something.  I’ve been taking baby-albeit minuscule- steps to achieving that end.  I’m so lost and so confused that I don’t know where to begin.  Well i have some idea but still therein lies that control freak issue.   One thing the bible has taught me is that “we walk by faith and not by sight”. And if I am to begin this new life or turn over a new leaf, then a prerequisite of that is my having faith and knowing that God will lead me in the right direction.  But I’ve messed up so much in my life that I have to ask myself if God even hears me beneath the multitude of sins.    Here I’ve been walking around all holier-than-thou for the past 10 years  knowing full well my  roses really smell like (in the words of Andre 3000)  boo-boo.    I am humbled and left in a precarious position. In need – for once in my life—of leadership

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