In keeping with our last discussion – well my soliloquy—about my need for a complete overhaul, I have realized that nothing can be done without God’s help. There are some major changes I would like to make to my personality. Of late, I’ve been struggling with an extreme lack of patience when it comes to the work I do. To be honest I don’t quite view my Job as a career choice. It was always just something to do to pay the bills and to keep food on the table. So with that in mind, I’d spent many an unhappy day at work dreading the next phone call, or the next time the supervisor with the flaming red short hair and chubby features would waddle over to my desk to complain about something else. Notwithstanding, I realized that my approach to work was quite lackluster. I was half questioning myself “why do I come here?” and half wanting to just walk out. In short I’d been feeling like a peon. But since, I’ve made this rededication to God and since I’ve been working on changing my mindset and personality, it has just occurred to me that God wants us to do our best at all tasks we are assigned and not with a heavy heart. I think maybe I’d been taking certain things for granted; like the fact that I’m gainfully employed during a recession. Perhaps maybe there’s no job security with this position. But at least for the time being it’s what keeps me afloat and it seems as if I’ve missed that very large detail. But on the up side of things I see God working his wonders in my life starting with the bad habits I’d developed:
- Not showing up for work Late anymore
- Handling customer calls in a more courteous manner.
- exhibiting a little more patience in instances where I would typically have gone over the deep end.
In all my frustration with God, I’d thought that maybe my changes were too slow in coming. But after much prayer and meditation. God spoke to me letting me know that he’s heard my pleas and he is working
with me to make the changes I need in order to become a better servant. Pride is still one of the obstacles, I am trying to overcome. But I know that God will create in me a clean heart and a renewed steadfast spirit (Psalms 51:10). For that I am grateful.