I have felt as if I had been defiling my body over the last few years. I wasn’t quite sure how until I read the following scripture and was convicted once again.
Romans 1:24-28 (New International Version)
24Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.
26Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. 27In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.
28Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done.
So what got me here today was, I would say, a call from the Holy Spirit. A little voice within me that reminded me what I was doing was wrong. I believe the scripture speaks about my acts of homosexuality. But not just that, it also talks about all matters of fornication and sexual depravity. I thought If I convinced myself that the lust I experienced was in actuality pure and unadulterated love, that I wasn’t doing anything wrong.
But that was just the little devil on my shoulder talking. Making me justify my own wrongdoings with what I thought was insight. Truly I was foolish. There was this part of me begging to find it’s way back to God. I truly wanted and needed God but I was so caught up in the flesh that I had chosen to put God on the back burner. Everyday I’d say “Not now Jesus”. But now, I’m appalled at my actions. I am humbled by God because I know that his forgiveness of my sin was thru His grace. I find it amazing that God can be so merciful as to forgive a sinner like me of all my wrong doings, knowing full well that I did not and do not deserve it. It’s like we struggle each day to exercise faith in God yet he seems to invest more in us that we do him. I’ll admit that this walk is anything but easy. But I’m in a better place now than I was last year or the year before that. I feel like I am walking in the light of Jesus and that he truly has a plan for me. I pray each day that I do not fail him.