Lost in Translation

Reading this book, really put things into perspective for me…. And no amount of million dollar words or diction can really cover up  my flaws.   I can’t seem to shed this Elitist mentality that’s turned me into a misanthrope.  How can I love God and loathe his creation?  Maybe we react differently to our experiences based on our environment and upbringing.   And Perhaps, maybe our upbringing (in some cases, lack thereof) is what helps to nurture the most admirable qualities in us.   It occurred to me –as i was ranting on my soapbox for the umpteenth time yesterday– that I really have no idea what life is like in the next man’s shoes.   I just know that I spent my childhood not wanting to become this  person.  This backwards Galatea.     I spent so much time resenting my Father because i feared I would become him that in the process that’s what I became.  I got caught up passing judgment.   I am that person I hate the most… I am  that  preachy “lonely boy” (see gossip girl).    I know that he is now trying to make up for lost time and trying to make his changes gradually.   But what I’ve learned, is that  holding grudges can be detrimental to ones psyche.    It turns you into this cold bitter mollusk of your past self.   31 and who am I?   Incapable of love?   If you asked me to write a bio about myself,  I wouldn’t know where to begin.  

 

when I die, i don’t want to be remembered for my temperament.

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