It feels so unreal. Friday night was my nightmare. It’s still my nightmare. it’s funny how when someone dies we just can’t believe it. It’s like we get infuriated when they don’t answer. I keep playing the scene over and over in my head and I just know tonight, I’m gonna wake up in cold sweats screaming my brother’s name. willing him to wake up, willing him to open that door. I want my brother back. Dear God I want him back. Give him back to me. Please I implore you give him back. How dear you leave your little sister all alone to fend for herself. Did you think of me when you passed on? Did you think of how it would affect me? And what of your Mother? Do you know how this breaks her heart? There is a niggling feeling that I’ve failed you somehow Bobby. That I should’ve took the time out to show you I cared and that I loved you and still love you. I hope that wherever you are God is taking care of you. That you’re up there with Norda and re-living old times. Maybe one day I’ll meet you soon. I love you brother and don’t you ever forget it. I’m so sorry for all the brash things I’ve said and how I’ve treated you in the past. I’m hoping you can forgive me


It was one of those dreary days.  Not real wintry, just the kind of day that was best spent in doors sipping coffee or a latte.   But not for me.  I had to go against the grain. I was at Barnes and Nobles moaning and groaning on the phone.  Recalling how much I missed Borders Books.  Terique was quite accommodating.  He let me ramble on about how unsatisfied i was with having to shop at B&N when Borders the love of my life had passed way (went out of business).  So  here I am perusing the aisles, looking for books in Fantasy fiction and Fiction; indecisive  about what I wanted to read.   After 4 hours of picking up book after book and putting them back down after seeing the price tag, I finally left with a bargain book and what turned out to be a book I’d already read.  To top it off the rain was coming down in droves now.  beating against my windshield and the sides of poor little Christine with an unrelenting passion.   Still it wasn’t so bad it was still one of those childhood rainy days where the rain came down so hard  you could see the fog building around the tires of the other cars on the Highway.  So I went to TwoBoots nostalgic for some chicken gumbo.   Sat in the car and ate/drank that gumbo like it was my last meal.   There’s something terribly comforting about hot gumbo on a cold rainy day,  It seems to lift the spirits.

In this weeks episode of “where they do that at!?”

The Vice President of Customer Support (didn’t know there was such a thing) walks off the job (leaving tire tracks, I might add) and calls in 2 hours later saying:


“ I just had a bad moment. I’ll be back tomorrow”




Maybe I oughta bleach my skin and try that method tomorrow.

after careful self-analysis, I’ve determined that I’m very goal oriented when it comes to work.  I like working in teams especially when the overall work ethic is  great.   But when it falls on the opposite end of the spectrum, I find it disheartening; frustrating even.   I think it’s a big deal when co-workers show up late or not at – all. or when other people don’t pull their weight.  because I know how great the results would be if we could all just band together and get it done.   same theory applies to living together in a household.  But when one person’s pulling their weight and the rest isn’t, it feels like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.