It feels so unreal. Friday night was my nightmare. It’s still my nightmare. it’s funny how when someone dies we just can’t believe it. It’s like we get infuriated when they don’t answer. I keep playing the scene over and over in my head and I just know tonight, I’m gonna wake up in cold sweats screaming my brother’s name. willing him to wake up, willing him to open that door. I want my brother back. Dear God I want him back. Give him back to me. Please I implore you give him back. How dear you leave your little sister all alone to fend for herself. Did you think of me when you passed on? Did you think of how it would affect me? And what of your Mother? Do you know how this breaks her heart? There is a niggling feeling that I’ve failed you somehow Bobby. That I should’ve took the time out to show you I cared and that I loved you and still love you. I hope that wherever you are God is taking care of you. That you’re up there with Norda and re-living old times. Maybe one day I’ll meet you soon. I love you brother and don’t you ever forget it. I’m so sorry for all the brash things I’ve said and how I’ve treated you in the past. I’m hoping you can forgive me

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