His Dark Passenger

He is becoming unraveled.  I’m starting to think that what he doesn’t need is a girlfriend.  What he does need is professional help (or an exorcist).  There was a point in my life when I couldn’t live without him.  But now I don’t know.  I was ready to leave again last night.  Lately I’ve been thinking that I’m not quite cut out for relationships or marriage.  He once represented my picket fence dream.  But now he represents a life in bondage.  A simple gesture might set him off.  What happens then?  will he kill me?

Homage to the Anomaly

Where am I in my relationship with God?  Have I developed another Stronghold?  Could it be that my captor is me?  I’m at a stalemate.  I’m standing at a junction facing too many forks in the road, not knowing which option to take.  I am trying to please everybody and yet I can please no one.   it feels so much like I’m under pressure. under the Gun expected to meet certain criteria. so much so that I forgot what being me was about.  I can’t place blame.  I’m too old for the blame game.  but how do I resolve it without finding the source and eradicating it.   just another of my inane soliloquy.  I say as much because I realize no one reads this blog.   Yesterday I  told drew that I was writing fiction but it’s far from the truth.  I’m not sure I’m comfortable with anyone reading my thoughts  and maybe I’d read them to Terique if I thought he was remotely interested in my narcissism.  But as it stands no body is.  This has been my altar to myself and idol worship will not be tolerated any longer.  Henceforth this blog is about my 360 degree sphere.   In other news the flyer is finished. feast your eyes.  No it’s not graphical ingenuity but it’s a start:

 

doves

Simplicity

I’ve discussed at length how depressed I’ve been and I think that God has answered my prayers in granting me a new lease on life.  Here I am in sunny Florida with a job and new apartment and everyday thanking God for waking me anew.  Thanking God for what I do have in my life and trying to make changes for the better.  I think lately I’ve been a serial whiner. But that’s about to change. presently I’m working on a flyer for my church “To The Word Ministries”.   Next I’ll be working on my Network Plus certification and I’ve decided to do a complete overhaul on the physical. new hairdo new clothes new attitude.  And I’ll try not to bite off as many heads as I used to.   Operative word is “Try”.   I remember crying out to God and I know he heard my cry.  Now he keeps me busy enough so I don’t remember my troubles. Or so I don’t remember Losing my brother though I still know he’s Gone but at the very least I won’t sit here poring over it enough to sink myself into a stupor.  All-in-All I’m happy.  I’m among family and maybe I’ll make some friends down here.  But I wake up with the sunshine in my face and it’s enough to take my breath away.  The simple pleasures in life.