• African American

    The man that knows something…

    knows that he knows nothing at all.   I’ve made it my business to record all my life’s lessons from here on out.   That way I can refer back to this blog when I’m in a difficult situation.   These aren’t just life lessons but lessons taught to us by the Holy Spirit.   So today I was reading ODB and there were some verses quoted from the Beatitudes.  Matthew 5:1-12 (New International Version) 1Now when he saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2and he began to teach them saying: 3″Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of…

  • African American,  Christianity,  Faith,  Family,  Gospel,  Love,  Relationships,  Trust

    Doing away with the Isms.

    if given to our own predilections, we tend to “pull rank” more often than not. I too am guilty of harboring an elitist mentality. maybe because It’s my way of being comfortable with self. But there is one thing that I need to be reminded of; and that is we are all here to serve a divine purpose. It hasn’t so much to do with our own wills and objectives. But it has to do with the will of our Father in heaven. We may not all be at the same level of learning in life. Our learning curves may differ. However, it does not make one lesser than the…

  • African American,  Christianity,  Faith,  Gospel,  Lifestyle,  Love

    Faith

    I have been praying for Forgiveness for oh so long. I could not for the life of me Fathom how God could forgive me for my multitude of sins. Sometimes i’d think my sins were so numerous that i’d be twice removed from his grace. Then today I was referred to this verse as i was reading the back of this book and it brought tears to my eyes reminding me that God’s mercy is nothing like ours and that he has the capacity to forgive us of our sins and wrong doings if we are truly contrite. Psalm 103 (New International Version) Psalm 103 Of David. 1 Praise the…

  • African American

    I want so much for my life to mean something.  I’ve been taking baby-albeit minuscule- steps to achieving that end.  I’m so lost and so confused that I don’t know where to begin.  Well i have some idea but still therein lies that control freak issue.   One thing the bible has taught me is that “we walk by faith and not by sight”. And if I am to begin this new life or turn over a new leaf, then a prerequisite of that is my having faith and knowing that God will lead me in the right direction.  But I’ve messed up so much in my life that I have…

  • African American

    it really wasn’t that long ago she died in 2003.  sometimes I miss her.  I really miss her.   Like the times when I’m confused and I don’t know what to do.  I wish she was here to show me what to do or to tell me what she would do.  But she isn’t .  And I remember all the good shit she used to do .  I remember the kind of person she was and I’ve tried to pattern my life after her but so far it’s been an epic fail.   every time I falter, I want to know where I went wrong.  But she’s not here to answer me…

  • African American

    Unthinkable

    He told me to do what Drake said in the previous post…. I guess it means we’re separated. or maybe he broke up with me but wanted to be all pc about it. I just told him when we had our argument “if you wanna dump me. just say it”. He never did say that. But he thinks I should take a week – a vaycay if you will – to see if with him is where I want to be. So to end it all this is what he told me Moment of honesty Someones gotta take the lead tonight Whose it gonna be? I’m gonna sit right here…

  • African American

    In triplicate

    they say everything happens in threes right.   Well my cousin died.  I’m not sure of the time of death.  I got a phone call at about 10 am in the morning.  Ally’s dead.  They say it’s poison. . … She went to the doctor grabbin her gut.  He gave her meds.  2 days later she’s in a coma laying on somebody’s hospital bed hooked up to tubes.  They intubate her.  Funnel these meds into her system.   The meds cause an adverse reaction to the meds already in her system.   She flat lines.  My cousin dies at 21.  She’d been in that coma since Monday.   It’s too late to place blame  but, …

  • African American

    Summer Romance

    you are forcing the issue between us.  I feel as though we are drifting apart and that we are very much the cliff analogy I described to you  earlier.  you say that your focus is only on me but there are times when we have conversations in which you just drift off elsewhere. You zone out.  your mind is never with me.  I cannot keep your attention gunz and at this point I feel myself going thru the motions knowing that at some point our relationship will run its course.  Your statements and you’re averring to love me and only me, sound like words said to assuage your troubled mind. …

  • African American

    so as it turns out meesh had to eat her words along with a nice helping of humble pie.   The girl is not his sidechick.  Never really was.  She was/is someone who fell in love with him because he is just a great person.   Paradox much?   Let me fill you in on the details.  Because i’ve been expounding on  the bad and the ugly, but not the good.  He’s an overall great guy.  It took me a while to understand that.  He doesn’t do these things for the ego-boost but simply because if it came down to it,  he’d give you the shirt off his back.  And it doesn’t matter how fucked…

  • African American

    Part of me feels as though it is inevitable that he will cheat with this girl (although the means aren’t physically there).    I know it’s all really silly but i can’t help but feeling the way I did when I was with Loni and she wouldn’t get rid of that bitch mahogany.   So many times I’d been disrespected only to find out they were fucking each other.   It makes me feel like that’s what he’s doing.  Only difference this time around is that, I am preparing myself for the blow.