Suffer the Little Children

There is something about a good old gospel hymn that stirs the warmth and brings peace down deep in the soul.  It’s hard to put into words so all I can do is say that it is the best feeling of contentment there is to be had.  Maybe that’s why I don’t like secular  “gospel” music that much.  It doesn’t really invoke that feeling within me.   Good old gospel reminds me of the days my momma would dress me up in that pretty little white dress with the shiny patent leather shoes and send me off to church with my little new testament bible in hand.  The days when I’d be singing out loud (though I can’t sing) to Jesus  with all the enthusiasm my little pint sized heart could muster.    Man those were the Pollyanna days and I had not a care in the world.   There’s something to be said about having childlike faith.   When you have the faith of a child you just “know” (no you don’t think) that everything is gonna be alright.   And because you know that it’s gonna be alright and you know that God’s gonna see you through, It just happens.   That’s the kind of faith we need to have.

Matthew 18:2-4 (New International Version)

2He called a little child and had him stand among them. 3And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Tunnel Vision

One of the most frustrating aspects of my daily routine  is working at a bank cow-towing to overly priviledged customers who have the nerve to call in with conniption fits because they don’t know how to use the automated phone system.  Of  all the things to harangue about?  You would call to complain because you have to enter account numbers in order to make your transfers.   Doesn’t that seem a little petty?   And maybe keeping $90,000 in our bank to build interest warranted him the right to moan and carryon.   But how does he sleep at night, knowing that out there, someone’s digging thru garbage looking for their next meal?   That out there someone’s on the verge of a mental breakdown because their house is on foreclosure and they have nowhere to go.   Living in a world engorged in darkness has ironically shed light on the burgeoning ethical decline of our society.   Remember when people cared a little more?  Remember when we were a little less selfish?  We’ve gotten so cocky and arrogant with our advances in technology and medicine that we  have all but become a Godless society.    I can’t say I know when this began or where. But I took notice over the last decade.   I noticed that crimes were becoming more sadistic and I noticed that we’ve even been justifying things we would never have thought to justify 20 years ago.   I used to bury my head in my books or my internet games so that I’d remain oblivious to it all.   But It weighed heavy upon my heart.  It still weighs heavy upon my heart.   But the up side or the turnabout came for me when I found my way back to Jesus.   He was/is (and I know this sounds a bit fanatical) the light at the end of my tunnel.    I was depressed and locked myself away in my home outside of going to work and I cut off mostly all contact with the outside world because I felt our circumstances were dire and virtually hopeless.   But thru all that, I found a lifeline to God.   Genesis 1:2-3 says: 

 2 Now the earth was [a] formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

 3 And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.

 Do you see that?  How awesome is our God that even in the depths of despair he can utter 4 words and bring about the start of creation and the end to all darkness.    That’s what God has done with my life.  He looked at me and said ” Let there be Light” and there actually was light and there were actually better days and I knew that even though I was surrounded  by all this darkness that God was still here reminding me that there was always something to look forward to.   I’d intended to turn this post into a rant and rave about some of the mundane aspects of my existence but I cannot help but be happy and content that I can find my strength in Jesus.   What would I do without him?   I would be miserable as I had been for the last 10 to 15 years.   As daunting as my present trials may seem,  I have God and God trumps it all.    🙂 ….. tootles folks .  I’m off to wally world to buy bed linen.

My Calling?

sometimes I look at my life and compare it to others and somehow the grass is always greener.  somehow they accomplish things so much easier than I do.  I seem to fail at the simplest of obstacles and everyday requires motivation for me to get up and get back on that hamster’s wheel.  this has been my issue for the past frew years.  My defeatist mentality.  But now that I think about it , I just really need to continue trusting in God and continue making the changes I need to make in life.   I realize that I’m in need of a complete overhaul.  Not just a spiritual overhaul, but I’d say a physical one.  I need to perhaps manage my money and my bills better and secondly (well when you caught the spiritual overhaul it’s really thirdly) my health.   I figured if maybe I list the things I need to change, I’ll probably be better able to manage my life.  

For weeks now I’d been asking God for my calling.  Asking him what it was he needed me to to do and on Sunday he answered my prayers.   I’ve been double-dipping between 2 churches of late.  (see I haven’t found a church home as yet).  There is one church in which the members are few but very warm and welcoming.  Then one in which the members are many but kind of cliquish.    Here’s a list of pro’s and con’s for Church #1.

Church #1
Pros
  • Lively  Service
  • Great Choir
  • Very Inspirational
Cons
  • Not room for much to be done by ordinary members.
  • Leadership has penchant for ignoring you unless you're related to one of them
  • I've been to about 5 of their services and have yet to hear the the Pastor invite people to accept Christ as their Savior

 

Church #2
Pros
  • Very Sociable People
  • Leadership down to earth and approachable
  • more geared towards bringing souls to Christ.
  • Always in need of volunteers from the congregation so it gives one the chance to become a part of something.
Cons
  • Very few members (church had a lot at some point but rumor has it, a family scandal pushed members away from the church)
  • Choir is not the best

So God’s been putting it in my head that If I started attending church #2 that I could do a  lot of good there.  I mean I’m far from a preacher or anything like that, but I know I should have some useful skills that would help in boosting membership.  I will be checking out Church#2 this weekend once again.  The first service I went to wasn’t too impressive but that could possibly be because they had a new preacher (I mean a fresh out of Seminary rookie) who kept stumbling over his words.  I know he meant well.  I just get the feeling that they all mean well and have set out to do the Lord’s work.  I just believe they need a helping hand.   Far be it for me to assume the responsibility but I’ve always been a sucker for the underdog and God has impressed it upon me long enough to know it’s not a fluke.     The question  is, where do I start?