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    Unusual Shit…

    Last night I had this dream. I saw a navy blue Nissan Altima 2008 parked outside my house. The back door was caved in along with the compartment that houses the gas tank. The car literally looked as if it had been hit with an IED in Iraq. So this morning, I get up and head to work. On my way I run into traffic due to an accident. As I’m driving past the scene I look up at the vehicle on the truck to notice it’s the car in my dream.

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    Sifting through the Wreckage

    I found survivors.   CH and I are back on speaking terms.  We agreed to be friends.  I spent perhaps the last 2 or 3 weeks ignoring her phone calls, instant messages and text.   I think I really needed that time to clear my mind.   Yesterday I sent her a text.  Small talk ensues then she tells me she really needs to talk.   So I called her.   I talked more than she did as usual.   I’m not sure why I’d expected anything to change.  But she talks about how I shut her out and blah blah blah.   I go on to remind her of my attempts to open up to her…

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    For Future Reference

    Since when is being evil synonymous with being Human?   Now don’t get me wrong I never said that we all should be perfect, because no one can.   But, one would hope that we would never give up the struggle to be the best we can.   Instead I see things taking a turn for the worse.   I’m living in a society where more and more I see supreme effort being placed on nurturing the more vile aspects of humanity.   Things are changing and it’s hard for me to keep my head up.  It’s not just a financial recession we’re in.   It’s also spiritual.   Now I know I’m not perfect.  I made…

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    I knew I was asking for it when I logged into her account.   She’s still sending msg’s to this chick even tho I asked her not to fuck with shorty (for legitimate reasons). Not to mention the fact I realized she lied to me the other day this shyt just diminishes my trust for her.   So here’s what I’s gone do.  I’s gone do Me.  

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    Another one bites the dust.

    The one thing I ask for in my relationships is honesty.   Shyt, I even hold the door open  so honesty can walk in.    For those of us who are just tuning in, I just started talking to CH 2 months ago.   We made things official last week and a week into our relationSHIT, she’s already lying to me.     She had her ex over this past weekend.  Granted  this is a long distance relationship, I can’t expect the world of her but the one thing I did and still do want is some honest –to –goodness, down-home cooked, made with love HONESTY.   How CH fucked up is that she failed to…

  • children,  education,  maternity,  Uncategorized

    The Authority on Motherhood

    I went spastic earlier.   I was having a conversation with CH.   She tells me about how her mom (now 42) keeps her 10 year old brother at home (and out of school) to wait on her hand and foot.   I  can’t really understand how one would keep your offspring out of school when you have the luxuries of sending them to school free of charge.     I think I almost burst into tears at the thought of that.   I’m  West Indian.   I’m not sure how the educational system is structured in modern day Jamaica, but I do know that My Mom had to  work her ass off to keep her…

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    Maternity

    I find it amazing how women naturally develop these maternal instincts after giving birth.  One would think any red-blooded female who gave birth would want to nurture her child.  But I don’t see that too often these days and it scares me.  Sometimes I wonder if I’ll end up in the same shoes as half these women I’ve come across.   I wonder if I’ll be one of those mothers who eat their young.  One of those women who would sacrifice their own seed for a buck.   My  16 year old cousin’s mom gave her away (sold her) to a man who could have been her father.  How does one…

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    Someone I can relate to

    Walking the streets at the Inaugural parade. He looks like a regular schmo walking down that street with the girl of his dreams.   That’s just the beauty of it.   I see my aunts and uncles, and next door neighbors in their faces.  I see my neighborhood in their faces.  I see my upbringing in their faces.  I see a good ole southern family barbecue in their faces.  Then i breath a long deep sigh of relief.  Martin you ain’t gotta roll in yo grave no more.   Your dream just became a reality.

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    New Responsibilities

    I don’t think I’ve ever felt like  a dilettante before.  Well, not until now.  I’ve been working in the Lab for almost a month and will admit that sometimes the tasks are overwhelming.   There is so much to process all at once and my fear is that I’ll forget it as soon as I learn it.   I’m in one  of those situations where fast-paced learning is required and although I’ve learned a great deal, there are still more thresholds to be conquered.   Here it is, I’m wanting to throw myself back into my work once again and I haven’t even ventured out on a vacation.