Caged In

Considering it’s been a stressful week, I haven’t really been able to focus on love. I feel kind of fucked up because I haven’t been able to call A when I say I’m going to call her. I was supposed to call her last night and I got in so late that I ended up falling asleep. Then I had to get up and do it all over again this morning. I need some serious spiritual healing. I told her I was going to go to church on Sunday. She cracked up laughing. She got her 7 chuckles from sheer disbelief. This morning I get up and there’s a message on my cell phone from Narh. “Meesh! I need you to bring the keys so we can move your car coz it’s blocking the delivery trucks. Call me or if you can’t reach me, call my brother at the house or ring both bells.”

Needless to say, I exhausted all alternatives when I went by the house to drop off those keys. Narh wasn’t there. His brother wasn’t answering the door nor was he answering the phone. I reluctantly had to find a way to pull the car into his driveway. I say reluctantly because it took me 15 minutes just to turn the wheels to get it into the driveway. Then it took another 15 minutes just waiting on this semi to pull into a parking spot across the street (the street isn’t that wide) so that I could move.


I get to work and Stephen the enterprise rep calls me. He’s like “so how do you like the car?” (Sounds like a car salesman). I’m like, “it handles well”. He goes on to say that his manager noticed a late payment on my house note. Let’s go back in time to when I provided a debit card and the mortgage bill in order to secure the rental which by the way they’d cancelled my reservation for. After scouring the house for a recent bill, I call in to find out that my reservation was deleted and I would have to wait 2 hours for a car to become available which ultimately was not a compact like I’d ordered and there was no one available to pick me up and take me there. But hey whatever!! I needed transportation and it’s not like there was a car rental place across the street. I paid them $400 to rent the car. The bank already put a hold on my account for the funds.



Back to the present. “Meesh we need you to call your mortgage company on conference with us so they can verify that your last house note was not paid late”. Excuse me, what the fuck does this have to do with the price of rent in Japan? You already have my money for the rental. Why would you need to dig deeper into my private affairs to ask the status of my account with my mortgage lender?

I feel like I’ve just been fucked in the ass with no money on the nightstand or a kiss goodnight. I’d like to just go out somewhere and deface private property or break a windshield or 2 coz Lord knows I’m in a sub-par state of mind.

How I fell in love with photography. Photography is one of the few things that keep me in touch with nature and all aspects of God’s creation. It brings about a certain kind of peace and calm.

Today really started off lovely. First thing’s first; my tax preparer calls and tells me I owe the federal government $271 dollars because supposedly, I have 2 dependents listed on my w-2. This is but one of many events that occurred since the week’s inception. On Sunday my mechanic tells me I’ll need to drop the car off to have the hub-bearings changed. (FYI: Hub bearings contribute to front wheel drive on your car). There’s some special grease packed into them when they’re manufactured. Apparently I ran out of that grease weeks (if not months) ago. So now they’re grinding against each other kinda like bone on bone. To replace them, I will need to drop the car off at the Mechanic and use a rental for however long it takes him to send them off to have them replaced and re-packed. This might take 2 weeks which might result in me coming out of pocket $400 for a rental. The game plan was to drop the car off on Saturday to have all that done. But Lo and behold it snowed yesterday. So I’m taking my time easing off the exit ramp on CT-15 when dear old Christine starts hydroplaning then finishes up with a couple figure 8s then hits the embankment almost flipping over. Oh but she wasn’t done yet. She continued hydroplaning some more and narrowly missed a utility pole and if it wasn’t for that nice mound of snow stopping the momentum, I would’ve smashed headfirst into this granite structure illustrated below:



Maned Wolf


DSC_0159
Originally uploaded by kissmeshia

An uneventful day at the Beardsley Zoo. Im testing my prowess when it comes to Nikon.

Besides the nikon. I found out some pretty interesting news. The hub bearings on my care are damn near shot which means dear christine will be out of commission for quite some time. I guess I’ll be hoofin it for a while.

No Donut Delight in sight and I’m thirsty/hungry. Last night was unusually busy for me. Neeve dropped by in a tizzy. She’s having one of her moments and I’m quite envious. I’m only paraphrasing to protect the innocent but, I just admire the way she throws caution to the wind — Whereas, I always have to over think and overanalyze everything before even moving forward. Sometimes I psyche myself out. So I got to talking about it with nick last night and finally divulged to her just how I really felt about her. I mean it’s not like I’m in love or anything. I just really dig her style. And because of that, I’m now having difficulty talking to her. Our conversations aren’t as easy as they usually are because I’m holding back. She would like me to feel comfortable with her. But I don’t feel comfortable with folks oops gotta go. FOODS COOKIN!!!

NIKON I LUV U

I got my Nikon back. (woot woot). Blah blah blah. I’m happy I got it back but I’m not happy about the inclement weather. It’s snowed every fricking day since the start of the winter season. There’s not much one can do with a blanket of snow out on the streets. I think I need a serious vacation. But I should stop complaining because I got my baby back. Yeah that’s right I said it. I got my baby back. Now I can annoy people. Muhahahahahaha oh and no, you can’t see pictures of me.

Because she wants to fuck me, we can’t be friends. She’s managed to block me on all accounts. I’m perturbed by that. I’m perturbed by the fact that I actually give a shit. I value her friendship. But sometimes it feels like that friendship comes with strings attached — like I have to fuck her in order to truly gain acceptance or understanding from her. Why’s it such a big deal if I don’t call you within a 24 hour time frame? And how fucking selfish can you be that you decide I should drop my fucking phone call for you because “in your mind” you’re giving me that good rubber dick? I don’t think so. I don’t ask you to get off the phone with your friends so why ask me to do the same with mine. Why can’t I ever have a girlfriend that’s not selfish? Wait a minute; she was never my girlfriend which makes this entire CHARADE even more asinine.

I know I’m bad at calling people. I disappear for months on end. I’ve made it a Resolution to call my Grandmother once a Month. She’s not in the best health and I know it’s been hard for her since Grandpa died. I can’t imagine living with someone for over 20 years and then ultimately losing them. The year hasn’t started out on such a great note but I’m positive that things will turn around. I got into an accident and I’d show you the damage but I don’t really want folks to see just how fucked up my driving is. I’ll be lucky if Allstate doesn’t drop me next month. Oh and Aquafina is seriously “no more”. Found out she was cheating. She had the audacity to be mad at me for being mad at her like I had absolutely no right to. Her roommate claims I’m insecure. Likely story, she’s the one who caught a bitch fit coz she was too fat and couldn’t go to the club. If I remember correctly she was screaming @ Aquafina because she looked better than her (which remains to be seen). I think that’s a clear-cut case of insecurity. All this shit’s happened within the last 48 hours and I’m just really learning how to curb my temper and move on. I’m disappointed because I broke 2 years of celibacy with her (actually more than 2 years).

On the schedule tomorrow:

 

Go to work.

 

Come Home

 

Clean House

 

Find Bible

 

Read Bible

 

Pray

 

And hope that God will save my soul one day.