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      I didn’t really mean to start everything off on a bad note. Tonight’s Christmas night and my brother is here with his wife and kids. I haven’t seen them in a long time and I kind of missed them. Mostly I missed his little boney ass. My bro’s a regular comedian and seems to be able to lighten up any somber mood. He’s more laidback and jovial, whereas I’m more uptight. I’m not really afraid to admit my flaws. I figure that’s the strong point in a person’s character– being able to admit ones flaws. I cooked and baked. Really I just fried chicken and made a half West…

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    When did we start having secrets? All of a sudden one can’t see her messages on her IMVU. You know IMVU is like MySpace. I’ve had many a friend who purposely hid their testimonials or comments so that both women in their lives could not see the others comments. Am I being petty coz I’m wondering if that’s what she’s doing? Wondering if this is some kind of game she’s playing? Is it insecurity? I’m only concerned coz I’ve seen other people do it. And by what I’ve come to learn; you can’t really put anything past anyone.

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    I really hope I’m not turning into my worst nightmare. I’m hoping and praying that I’m not him. I am not my father. I know he doesn’t give a shyt or maybe he didn’t. He wasn’t one for showing emotions much. If that isn’t the case then basically it must mean that I’ve given up. Like I’ve just resigned myself to not givin a fuck. So I had the following conversation with an old friend: kiss meshia ii [10:05 P.M.]: matism kiss meshia ii [10:05 P.M.]: can I ask you a question I MATISM I [10:05 P.M.]: sure kiss meshia ii [10:05 P.M.]: when someone says something to you denigrating…

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    It’s bothering me that I don’t feel any kind of way about the message she left me on my page. She said I was being immature by attempting to hide my messages. I thought I would be mad but I don’t even feel anything and I don’t really understand why that is. Why am I so calm? Why am I not livid? I don’t know?

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    Today proves to be a bit uneventful. I’m thinking it’s because I miss her so much or mainly because I miss Texas. I haven’t eaten much over the past 3 days so now I’m feeling a little woozy. I feel fatigued even though I’ve had my 8 hours. I’m sitting here at work watching the clock; waiting for the opportunity to brave the ice to get home. It’s 15 degrees outside but she makes it feel like it’s 50; like it’s warm and sunny. She’s the reason why “it never rains in Southern California”.

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    Am I the only person who’s annoyed by folks who keep you hanging on the phone whilst they conduct their own outside conversations? I personally feel like there are other things I could be doing other than listening to her yuk it up with her roommate. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not hatin on her roommate. I know they’ve been best friends for 10 years and I know they’re gonna laugh n chat with each other. But shyt if you’re busy, do you. She thinks I’m upset about not receiving the emails of us together. But I’m really just upset that she had me on the phone tryin to…

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    Pardon me for being close-minded. But how come there are so many males with Lesbian interests on this site? Better yet, how come males tend to inundate the lesbian chatrooms and chat sites I’ve been to lately? Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against the hairy creatures. I just can’t seem to fathom why one would give chase to something one cannot have. I signed up for this virtual reality site back In April after I left the ball scene. Even on this site you’ll encounter men pretending to be females just to hang around lesbians. I think it’s sickening only because they’re so deceptive. On the upside the…

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    Work Flow We were at her house the day after my birthday. I took a shower. She took a shower.  She sits on the edge of the bed massaging warm vanilla sugar into her skin.  I volunteer my services.  I start massaging the lotion in Working my way down her arms.  Down to her Legs I’m rubbing her legs with lotions and she’s giving me pointers Telling me I’ve missed spots. So I go back to these key areas to apply More warm vanilla. Then she points to the insides of her thighs.    I chuckle to myself because I’ve already rubbed her thighs with lotion.    So I go…

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    Histrionics & Such….

    Dear Diary,   Tonight was hella crazy. I could feel my heartbeat racing (maybe it was just the latte). My Aquafina flow called me today hysterical near tears. I say “baby calm down. What’s the matta!??” She tells me it’s her granny, her sweet ole granny. Her momma called n said “sweetie, granny done shitted on herself and she’s mumbling some crazy shit”. So My Aquafina having the back ground she’s had in HHA, immediately begins to recognize the signs of Stroke. See she’s seen people die from stroke simply because immediate attention was not given. She’s tellin them (her mom n granddad) to call 911. Grandpa insists he wants…

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    Real Nukkas and Bitch Nukkas

    So I was gonna talk about sex today but decided against it. There are too many little disturbing things going on here. Like my employee altering records to gain commission credit. Not hot dude. Then of course assuming she was the Manager when the new girl came in and attempting to train her when I hadn’t even arrived. Are we a little uppity here?