• Uncategorized

    How is it so Easy

    I meant to post this as a comment in Alix’s blog.  But,  I have way too much to say.  Way too many questions to ask.   It’s been about a month since her and I broke up.  (Her being Aquafina).   I’m not as devastated about the break-up as I am about the events that followed subsequently.   Within 4 hours of our break-up she with someone else.  It’s not the fact that she moved on so fast that pains me.   It’s the fact that the person who she is with was a mutual friend of ours.   I remember succinctly asking her if she was cheating on me with that person.   Her…

  • Relationships,  Trust

    Indecisive

    I don’t know if the emotions that I’m feeling  mean that I  like her or if I love her.  We’ve been talking since maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago.  Everyday, she’s unsure about what our future holds and Everyday it seems as if I don’t have secure footing in this  relationship.   I’m not exactly calling it a relationship because she’s not my girlfriend.  But for the sake of identifying this thing we have, I’ll call it a relationship.   She’s been thru the same b.s. that I have.  She’s had her heart broken more often than not – as have I.   It’s really hard to convince her that I’m not here…

  • Uncategorized

    Return to Sender

    Dear Self,   You never really seem to learn from your past experiences.   It seems as if you truly are looking for fulfillment under the guise of love.   Actually,  I’ve come to the conclusion that you are looking for what you once had 6 years ago.   You’ve had a taste of it  and now you want more.   Maybe you should stop looking.   Maybe you should stop hoping that each and every moment will be a direct replica of the first.          Signed     Yours Truly       Technorati Tags: love,diary,infatuation,lust,trust,sex

  • African American,  devastation,  Uncategorized

    This Little Rainbow Clique

    The older I get the more I have this disdain for surrounding myself with only LGBT individuals.   I know that sounds crazy but let me explain why.  I’ve been on this scene for perhaps 8 years or so and I’m pretty much able to predict the actions of my gay/ lesbian counterparts.   So much so that it really doesn’t add any mystery to the situation.    Being of sound Sagittarian mind and body, it is in my nature to want to experience new things and to learn and grow spiritually.   I’m not finding that by only associating with one specific group in society.   I think that as a lesbian the objective…

  • Uncategorized

    True definition of Love…..

    Valentines day finds me in solace.   I’ve never had time to actually be lonely.  But today I am.   I have friends, great ones at that.  But they’re all out having a drink with their significant other or celebrating v-day somehow.   I’ve really been thinking about how I approach relationships lately.   Someone once said that I was in love with the concept of love.   Something that I’ve –until now–  completely denied.   Having acknowledged the latter, I’ve now changed my course.    I have an idea on how to keep my feelings in check, as they only seem to develop when there’s some semblance of "love” (i.e. infatuation) rearing it’s ugly head.   I’m…

  • Uncategorized

    Christine Before  Christine After    Finally at least one hurdle has been overcome,  I’m no longer riding public transportation with the crazies.   Friday I saw this dude on the buss with his pants and boxers below his ass.   It was a real live nightmare.   I saw  more than buttcrack and I was not enthused.  

  • Uncategorized

    Synopsis

    I haven’t been here in awhile so I’m gonna catch you up on a quick brief synopsis. My Ballroom life is now null and void. I’ve had many a fond memory including a few bad ones. But now I’ve entered the next stage of my life. I’m a budding workaholic. I even had a girlfriend until January when she cheated on me. It was one of those textbook situations where, you meet a damsel-in-distress and you want to ride off with her into the sunset. Unfortunately that’s a fairytale. In the urban forest, a damsel in distress couldn’t recognize a prince (or princess) charming if he (or she) hit her…

  • Uncategorized

    Caged In

    Considering it’s been a stressful week, I haven’t really been able to focus on love. I feel kind of fucked up because I haven’t been able to call A when I say I’m going to call her. I was supposed to call her last night and I got in so late that I ended up falling asleep. Then I had to get up and do it all over again this morning. I need some serious spiritual healing. I told her I was going to go to church on Sunday. She cracked up laughing. She got her 7 chuckles from sheer disbelief. This morning I get up and there’s a message…

  • Uncategorized

    How I fell in love with photography. Photography is one of the few things that keep me in touch with nature and all aspects of God’s creation. It brings about a certain kind of peace and calm.