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Here’s hoping

She’ll find the discipline to shut her phone off at night

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How the new norm is my old norm …on crack

I should go grocery shopping with Mom. But I hate Bravo. Too many people. I love my personal space especially while we’re social distancing which they don’t seem to care about. All that clamoring and yelling gives me the heeba jeebas. Give me Walmart or Publix any day of the week.

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Manic Moment

I am feeling so Manic right now. I woke up to find out that Chadwick didn’t and it has triggered a number of episodes. We the marginalized have been shot up, had our necks kneeled on, succumbed to COVID and are in the fight of our lives for Basic Human Rights. I was trying to hold on to happiness but this figurative straw has me wanting to go back to sleep. It has me wanting to wake up in another timeline where everything and everyone is okay. Jesus help us. I mean it Lord God we are in pain right now. Help us. Help our people. Help us rise from these ashes. I love you lord and I know this is all for a reason. But help us. Deal. I’m so tired of seeing my people hurting. Lord help us or help me to help us. Show us the way father God.

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My so-called life

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It’s been awhile

Fast forward two stress-filled months with sleepless nights. We have been protesting. Some of us have been rioting. Some have been looting and others burned whole cities. Do we call this a waking nightmare? I had the opportunity to peacefully protest with my church family.

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Ahmaud Arbery

Are my fears irrational ? As a black woman living in South Florida. Are my fears irrational? I don’t want to jog alone. Before dark or after dark. I don’t want to jog alone. Does this mean the enemy has won? Does this mean we have been sufficiently cowed? Should I feel ashamed of that?

I don’t even know how to respond to this. I wanted to run but realized I can’t. Fear paralyzes people. I know what my reality is and I know how easily I can fall victim to circumstance. Yes it’s sad. Coz I’m legitimately scared. But what can I do about it? Fear has become common place for black people. God has impressed it upon my heart to combat hatred with love. But it’s not an easy feat. Because For every Sean Maguire, there’s a George Zimmerman and in all honesty , some days fear wins out.
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www.bible.com/1/col.3.22.kjv

Something I have to remind myself to do each day I’m at work and I feel an attitude coming to fore. In all honesty I find myself getting defensive often. As if I’m prepping for a fight And it’s because my focus is on the wrong thing. This verse however, keeps my work ethic going; Even in adverse situations. It gives me the strength to continue to work hard and wait on God.

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The Stand-Outs

I love New York

I am New York

I loved the concrete jungle

reading “Always and forever : Lara Jean”,

so wide eyed and full of wonder.

I love new york

I am new york

She is 19 year old me.

Every day in the big Apple In the city that never sleeps.

On the ferry.

At the seaport on South street

Listening to steel pans drum beat

I love new york. I am new york

Down to 42nd at the Loews next to madam tussauds.

On Christopher street in the village. At Fat Black Pussy Cats having a drink with my ex -fling?

I loved New York and I was New York.

But now…

Now it’s a Florida ting

Lounging by the pool

With summer in full swing

Remembering I was New York

But Now I’m Florida.

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The Devil is a Liar

I’ve been facing a lot of challenges at work lately. I was fed a 6 for a 9 but I know I just have to make the best of it. This goes back to my earlier post that colonizers get away with murder. We melanin infused individuals, don’t. I could never sit on a job for 7 years, not do it, and still get to keep that job. We all know it’s an unwritten rule. I’m also doing the Job of 2 people now. But I’ll get what I need from it and move on. I’ll play their game. I’ll shuck n jive until…. But in the meantime between time, I’m praying to God for guidance and patience. Hoping he will place me where he needs me when the time is right.

Welp there goes the bitterness express, pulling out of the depot. But God…

Twenty minutes later… I read this in a post. See how God works?

Galatians 6:4 NLT, “Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.”

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I am hooooome

Today was one those cold hangover type days. You know the kinda day where you’re just so tired you could sleep standing up. Well, I’m mildly relieved to be home safe because I was in this tug of war with my eyelids and there were times I thought they would win. Especially when I pulled into my driveway and immediately fell asleep at the wheel. Even though I’m bone tired I must say that I’m content. Feeling pleased with myself. Catch you ne’er-do-wells later.

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